Shop-a-holic

If you are like most of us you love to shop. Spending money makes you feel good and that is fine..... when done in moderation. But for a person like me it can become a vicious cycle. I feel bad i shop, i LOVE retail therapy as it is called, I call it self medication. It gives me a huge rush it is almost a high like you get from a drug, especially when it is on sale. But then i realize i spent the money for a certain bill, and i crash hard and get depressed again.So then i shop again and realize more bill money is gone and get depressed again. I have shopped so much I was hundreds of dollars overdrawn. This cycle is soooo hard to get out of almost impossible. And i have to be careful to not just switch things i am self-medicating with. I know some people out there will say get over it life is not a bed of roses, dude i have tried it wound me up in the hospital. Another will say i get depressed but i don't shop like that. Good for you i am glad but ya know what i bet you self-mediicate in another way. I am not proud of myself when this happens in fact i am so ashamed I am sick from it i have been known to lie about where things came from. Just beause i get so shaking and sick from it knowing that it is going to be bad. It has caused many fight , bad fight, some that have almost caused us to sepperate. This is such a hard battle to fight and it is one i fight everyday. Some days i stand tall in victory and others i am slumped in defeat but i am always on my feet

I have no net

Just so ya'll know i write my blogs in a note book first since i do not have the internet at this point in time. SO i have to print them and then type them in when i get to my families house. So it will be a few days in between posts but when i do there will be multiples in one day

an introduction

This is my introduction post. I will explain who i am and why i am here writing this..

I am a mother of 2 toddlers which is a handful in and of itself, When added to the fact that i am bi-polar and ADD it can tend to be a challenge to make it through each day. I plan to type here what i have found that helps me through the day and keep my limited sanity intact. Information that i wish someone had given me long before i had to learn it the hard way and almost lose my family. I pray that my information will help even just one mama/woman to be able to function on a day-to-day basis and be able to keep his/her family available. This blg is for anyone but is written from a womans point of view. So some of what i say may be un needed for a man.